Thursday, March 5, 2009

BROWN VS. BLUE - THE BATTLE OF THE NOT-SO-GOODS


i did a little cat-sitting for some friends this past weekend. good people, that ryan and kelly. good cats, that winston and abigail. my primary cat-sitting duties included keeping the cats off the countertops and spraying them from a bottle water if they did. cush job. i could easily make a living hanging about other people's houses, watching their flat screens and drinking their sweet tea. sign me up. you don't even have to ask me to pay taxes; i'll just do it tax free, i liked it so much.


alright, not to gossip, people, but ryan has a pretty sweet liquor cabinet. top shelf whiskeys, scotches, rums and cognacs. (after that night in austin when i gave three waitresses and a waiter my mother's home phone number, mistaking it for my own, i don't even look at tequila anymore.) to curb my thirst for the harder stuff, i drank ryan's beer. he had two kinds: blue moon and dundee's honey brown. these are two beers i would not normally choose on my own, so i was happy to have this FREE chance to taste the two side by side.


after the testing, i decided that, no, i would not financially prefer either beer over, say, a schiltz; however, i will never turn down a bottle of blue moon or dundee's honey brown if the price is right. like, free. what follows are the reviews i posted quite some time ago on ratebeer for each of the aforementioned brews. the battle of the not-so-goods did indeed claim a winner.


IN THE BROWN CORNER
after years of bagging this beer, i’m here to say that dundee’s honey brown is quite refreshing and, even, nice. this is good backyard beer. hot weather beer. introduce-your-keystone-light-buddies-to-craft-beer kinda beer. though normally a hophead and imperial stoutist, i still dip my fancies in the always trustworthy and thirst-quenching american lager. and this honey brown lager may be one of the finest craft versions on the capitalist market. question: have the dundees changed the recipe in the past some-odd years? this feels lighter, less syrupy, or am i smoking something illegal? brightly toasted-golden fermented juice illuminates bubbles sweltering a constant ascension of pearly white bubbles. the aroma speaks of baked honey cakes, cinnamon rolls sans cinnamon loaded with honey, honey and more honey. a second look at the glass reveals a liquid honey comb, melted and translucently ravishing backporch sunlight. slightly burnt malt flavors curl on the edges with a heightened sweetness - like the corner-pan pieces of fresh honey drenched poundcake. a great "starter-to-the-night" beer. a fine lager. i also like the new label design: the marching band worker bee banging a bass drum and touting a mug of lager. not a beer i will return to often, but it’s nice. grandma will love this.
aroma - 3/10
appearance - 5/5
flavor - 6/10
palate 4/5
overall - 13/20
rating - 3.1


IN THE BLUE CORNER
not great. i’m so sorry that this beer is like EVERYWHERE. worse than that, i’m sorry that everyone thinks this is fabulouser than miller lite or pabst, as if blue moon were the next logical progression up from domestic lagers. seriously, it’s not good.
aroma - 4/10
appearance - 4/5
flavor - 4/10
palate - 2/5
overall - 7/20
rating - 2.1

the winner in the battle of the not-so-goods: dundee's honey brown. although maybe not worth pissing into a king's golden spittoon, i would gladly flush many a bottle of dundee down the railing in my own backyard. don't believe me? just bring a sixer of dundee's over and sit a spell. the railing awaits you.

13 comments:

  1. wow. i wholeheartedly disagree. i am one of those that can tolerate, and even enjoy a blue moon with a slice of orange and it doesn't make my penis any more limp.

    Dundee's on the otherhand sounded great by your description which is why i am now lumping your writing in with statistics because you can make anything sound good. Beware the hamster, he can make nuclear holocaust sound like a misty Tahitian getaway.

    This beer is the epitomy of what i hate in a beer--A beer with a disastrous added flavor. Now i don't know how blue moon is flavored and even if it is done the same way, at least it meshes. Honey Brown tastes like it sounds; like something was toasted but ended up burning, and to salvage it someone drenched it with honey as if it would make it better.

    To me it is a sickening additive. I do respect how differently you rate it now vs. before though. I do wonder though, why you disliked Blue Moon so much? It is a sweeter beer, sure, but i thought that's why you disliked Fat Tire and you recanted in that ring too.

    What is going on? Am i to expect my flavor choices to change this dramatically in the future? If you dig PBR and even Honey brown, then what do you rate as the worst beers??

    this question is for everyone also...

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  2. baker - whatev. i happen to know that you nearly love the added flavors in beer. case in point: schlafly pumpkin. boo-ya.

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  3. also, if you are so anti-additives, why you be putting orange slices in your blue moon? shouldn't beer be good enough on its all alone that you don't need to throw in creams and sugars to mellow it out. i didn't put nothing in my honey brown but my lip.

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  4. and maybe i'm just a little fickle like all that. i guess that's why all my friends call me "whiskers."

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  5. I'm with the Baker: Blue Moon with orange isn't half-bad. I mean, it's still mediocre even then, but so are the FTTs, and I watch those.

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  6. who calls you whiskers?

    anyways, the pumpkin ale is delicious and all i know to say is that some beers taste like they got it right and that the flavor meshes with the beer and some flavors overshadow and demean the beer. i feel like the honey is very critical of the beer and tries to be the forerunner when i just want to taste brown ale.
    Schlafly found a good mixture, this is a delicate art that Dundee attempted like trying to wrestle a crock, with absolutely no finesse.

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  7. Baker, I think the Hamster was quoting from something with the "whiskers" comment. Will Farrell's Harry Carey on SNL?

    I say Blue Moon over Honey Brown. But why you gotta add lime or orange? Unless that's how you roll. Kinda like a relaxing evening for you would be to rent a nice chick flick, put your phone on silent, light some candles, run a hot bubble bath, apply an avocado face mask, and paint your nails...not that I've done that. But if I had, I would have dropped an orange in my Blue Moon.

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  8. don't be an ass, Church Key.

    I prefer a lime and ginger face scrub. The avocado is a bit oily and i try to avoid the acne. Plus, i haven't done the nail painting since our last beer club meeting. you know that. you were the one painting. you drew the short straw.

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  9. listen, maybe i just like honey. you ever think of that? i put honey in my green tea, my oatmeal, on my peanut butter, my toast, my biscuits, my index finger. i love honey. i love honey in my beer, i'd eat honey with my dear. maybe that's why all my friends call me "buzz."

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  10. I read this review thinking, "Oh, man, I have to respond!" Then, after reading all the other responses, I thought, "So would my response just be piling it on at this point?" But alas, I must also chime in... Blue Moon with a wedge of orange is darn tasty. Blue Moon sans orange wedge is very "eh". But on a hot summer day, I have been known to order Blue Moon with orange over a Boulevard Wheat (which, incidentally, I also take with lemon). And on the topic of citrus fruits in beer, yes, I even put a wedge of lime if I find myself forced to drink a Corona or Tecate (i.e. in Mexico where they don't serve U.S. beers).
    Hamster, it has been MANY years since I've had Honey Brown, but you make me want to try it. Add it to the list for your visit to K.C. soon.

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  11. scott - this was a joyous post, but i am NOT drinking honey brown while i'm in kc. i have too much access to the honey brown here in the republic.

    more hops - i've seen that dundee pale, but ne'er gone near it. thanks for the prescription.

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  12. Blue Moon tastes like earl grey tea.

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