our dearly own and beloved prescription took on quite the IPA tasting task recently and then reported his findings in a humdinger of a beerclub post. to celebrate prescription's accomplishments, i waited to read his post until i could do so while simultaneously tasting a brand new IPA. i chose SUMMIT BREWING COMPANY'S INDIA PALE ALE (6.4% abv) because it was available for purchase in a single bottle. i chose the picture above because it has some random white girl's foot in it, and i thought that was a little awkward.
so, without further adieu, here's to prescription:
summit IPA pours a coppery caramel color. by looks alone, i'm expecting a very metallic flavor. small bubbles rise in the middle of the glass, showing a bit of air and teasing my palate. the aroma screams heavy, heavy hops. something also smells a bit burned, like the hop farmer raked up fallen hop blossoms off the ground, burned them on a leaf pile, and then dry-hopped the ale through the ashes. i cannot imagine why this ale smells burned. a thin white scrim lays across the surface of the ale while small white bubbles shift the covering like hundreds of tiny crabs moving the ground level of the sandy beach. i like the looks. i do not like the smell. and the first sip is atrocious. who told the brewing company it was okay to ask people money for this shite? i feel like i'm watching the american idol audition and some tacky girl is wailing and she sucks and then she says, "well, my grand-mammy believes in me!" that's how i feel about this beer: somebody's grand-mammy said they make precious beverages and now they can charge me money for it. the second sip makes me hate the grand-mammy. this is hop overload. there is no balance. their is not biscuit or barley or malt or bread here. and the hop flavor is not even very good. the website boasts four different hops in this one ale: northern brewer, east kent golding, warrior, U.S. golding, and then it's dry-hopped through east kent golding again for the ashy burn. listen, summit, do you know there is a hop shortage in america? do you know that people who use their hops responsibly cannot buy their hops at wholesale prices because you are setting them on fire and abusing them? this ale is silly. let's back the truck up here and see what summit might be able to do with only two hop varieties. the big four is just too much. i sip a little more, and i lose my faith in all grand-mammies. i do not like this beer. i am glad i only have one. still, i am not dumb enough to not finish this beer. bad beer is better than no beer.
prescription, i am sorry that this tasting did not work out well. i meant of this to be a celebration of you. tonight, i will raise a glass of something finer in honor of you and your sweet grand-mammies.
confession: that is actually my foot. sometimes i paint my toes. don't tell anyone.
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...and you shave your legs and feet?! I am in the middle of another ipa tonight...and the second half of the big bottle will be in your honor. it is called "hoptimistic" and it is brewed in st. genevieve, mo. it has a distinct rye flavor, and taste more "earthy" than most ipa's. i'll give it a $3.00 ranking because it is pretty smooth. thanks for thinking of your st. louis friend.
ReplyDeleteI had some hops tonight but unfortunately you were not on my mind. I'll work on it.
ReplyDeleteI started at Schlafly's with an APA and an IPA. No issues. Standard stuff. I then crawled over to the Tin Can for a Mighty Arrow (which was awesome because it was only $3...also on tap for $3 was New Belgium's 1554 & Mothership along with O'fallon 5 day IPA).
To finish the night I had a PBR ($1.75).
A good night. That PBR was pretty tasty at the end.
I say we meet at the Tin Can in April.
i'm sipping this here lone star. don't tell anyone.
ReplyDeleteBe kind to Summit. They're good people who make not-so-good beer. In the summer of 2007, the wife and I went to a beer festival in Des Moines, and we were staying at a hotel about 20 minutes from the festival. When we arrived at the hotel before the festival, we spotted the big Summit marketing van (and at that point, I wasn't familiar with their beers). We got a taxi to the festival, but didn't have a ride home. So as we continued our downward spiral of sobriety, we made friends with the Summit folks. Truly wonderful people. I consumed a bit too much during the festival, so the memory gets a bit spotty beyond that, but here's what I remember:
ReplyDeleteWe finally talk them into giving us a ride back to the hotel.
Faith gets scared of them kidnapping us, so takes a picture of their license plate, just in case her camera is found after our disappearance (I'm being 100% honest here)
We get back to the hotel and decide to hang out in the Summit folks' room (since they have tons of beer left over).
I order pizza.
I never see/eat the pizza.
I wake up at 3am to puke.
I wake up at 4am on the cold tile floor of the bathroom, puke again.
I wake up at 7am with a headache handed down as punishment from the hand of God himself.
I watch IndyCars buzz around a track at about 140 decibles, and regret hanging out with the Summit folks.
They make truly wretched beer. But they're truly nice people who gave us a bunch of free stuff and a ride home. So it's all good in the end.
i like your story. i still like the picture of the random white girl's foot more than i like this brewery. sure, i'm glad you and faith were not kidnapped, and i'm glad that whatever aled you came out in the morning hours, that happened to me recently too; however, i do not fancy the notion of giving these people more money for their products. i would rather give them missionary donations, like unto the lottie moon foundation. i'll try a few more summit beer but only because they were good to you and your wife. i hope they spoiled the chihuahuas as well.
ReplyDeletei am not afraid at all to pour out the remainder of a bottle that is as bad as you describe. Sometimes, if a beer is terrible, i think, why didn't i just have some juice or something?
ReplyDeleteI found the post interesting and the comments even more interesting. I have dated girls that could be described as "nice folks" who served only witch's brew. They were not worth the time.
ReplyDeleteI give Hamster 5 Baptist Faith and Messages out of 5 for working Lottie Moon into a beer review (or comment thereon).
Sincerely,
A former baptist from Fayetteville