last night i spanked a midterm exam. bent that thing right over my left knee and gave it a new name. turning it in, i walked straight up the teacher, stapled the pages, and said, "you're welcome." shazam!
okay, i didn't really say, "you're welcome." i think i said, "i hope this works out." she said, "i'm sure you did fine." and i said, "thanks for the vote of confidence." i always sound way better in what i should have said than what i actually say.
still, to celebrate the victory of the test, i stopped by the local debauch depot and picked up a single bottle of this here brooklyn brewery's lager. that's all they call it: "lager." i mean, i'm not sure what else you could call it, but that's the simple and sweet of it.
here's my story. i bought this beer to celebrate my midterm. and i bought this beer because i had neVer tasted it, making it a fine addition to the beer club menu here. however, like a big giant hippo in a glass knicker-knocker shop, i tipped that bottle plum over on the counter top and lost half the beer under my tea-bag box. son of a bitch! i did say that. i always say exactly what i shouldn't say.
i had just enough of my wasted celebration beer to decide i was glad to not have the whole thing. this beer did not move me to kool and the gang sing-a-longs. brooklyn brewery's lager is woefully british, and not in the ways i'm learning to love the british ale. it was yeasty and twangy, crying out more for turkey and mayo than pretzels and mustard. the malts also tasted inappropriately heavy, allowing the hops to peep up glimmer a peering brow over the edge but never making a full appearance. i did not like this. i would not drink it with the queen, i would drinking it from her spleen.
luckily, my friend josh gave me a bottle of mighty arrow later in the evening. it was delish. and i celebrated mighty arrow shagging my taste buds as much i had hoped brooklyn brewery to celebrate my spanking of the midterm. beer drinking can be so naughty. at least, drinking the right beer can be.
okay, i didn't really say, "you're welcome." i think i said, "i hope this works out." she said, "i'm sure you did fine." and i said, "thanks for the vote of confidence." i always sound way better in what i should have said than what i actually say.
still, to celebrate the victory of the test, i stopped by the local debauch depot and picked up a single bottle of this here brooklyn brewery's lager. that's all they call it: "lager." i mean, i'm not sure what else you could call it, but that's the simple and sweet of it.
here's my story. i bought this beer to celebrate my midterm. and i bought this beer because i had neVer tasted it, making it a fine addition to the beer club menu here. however, like a big giant hippo in a glass knicker-knocker shop, i tipped that bottle plum over on the counter top and lost half the beer under my tea-bag box. son of a bitch! i did say that. i always say exactly what i shouldn't say.
i had just enough of my wasted celebration beer to decide i was glad to not have the whole thing. this beer did not move me to kool and the gang sing-a-longs. brooklyn brewery's lager is woefully british, and not in the ways i'm learning to love the british ale. it was yeasty and twangy, crying out more for turkey and mayo than pretzels and mustard. the malts also tasted inappropriately heavy, allowing the hops to peep up glimmer a peering brow over the edge but never making a full appearance. i did not like this. i would not drink it with the queen, i would drinking it from her spleen.
luckily, my friend josh gave me a bottle of mighty arrow later in the evening. it was delish. and i celebrated mighty arrow shagging my taste buds as much i had hoped brooklyn brewery to celebrate my spanking of the midterm. beer drinking can be so naughty. at least, drinking the right beer can be.
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