Wednesday, June 9, 2010

THE ONLY BEER I'VE EVER DRIVEN AWAY FROM: WIDMER BROTHER'S DEADLIFT IMPERIAL IPA


here's a true indicator of a beer's worth. watch this, it's right here:

you're driving home from a long day at work. it's not been the best day, but not the worst either. you started out the morning at the dentist office, your jaw unhinged for two straight hours like a freshly fileted salmon. then class didn't go well, and probably because you weren't going well. repeatedly, for three full hours in class, you check and re-check and re-check the clock, thinking about driving home, about kicking your shoes off, about watching an ellen page film, about pouring a nice tall glass of beer. but then, suddenly, you remember what beer you have at home in your fridge, your countenance drops, so you turn around, drive to the store, and get another kind of beer.

yessir, i just lived this scenario. and the beer i drove away from this afternoon, that i chanced to repeat with something finer, was this here widmer brothers deadlift imperial ipa. honestly, to this day, i don't know if i've ever driven away from a beer. i might need to jot this event into the diary i one day hope to hand off to somebody kids, maybe mine -

June 9, 2010

Shit day. Turned the X-Terra around and drove away from shit beer. Gas costs $2.45/gallon. Community college girls wear rainboots when the sun's out and flip-flops when it rains. Whitesnake is still on the radio. Something ain't right about any of this.

before slamming this deadlift imperial ipa, i'd just like to say that widmer brothers is a great brewery. established by two beer guzzling brothers back in '84, this portland brewery produces one fine hit after another. i've even counted their broken halo ipa and their hefeweizen as two of my new favorites. also, word from sharif riad said that the widmer brothers prickly pear is so bizarre that the uniqueness alone makes it a beer to hunt and devour. widmer is one of those rare names in beer that you can fully trust to deliver big, full-bodied beers worth revisiting many times over.

until this one.

first off, the bottle says that this deadlift imperial ipa is an imperial ipa - meaning big ABV, big IBUs, big hops, big flavor, big BIG. however, the charts on this thing read 8.6% ABV and 70 IBUS. that's pretty weak for an imperial ipa. not to mention, all those low numbers show up in the flavor and the mouthfeel of the beer. this is a thin beer, barely registering on the palette as a ipa, let alone an imperial ipa. the only thing doubled in this beer is the miles i drove out of my way to find another beer to drink this afternoon.

again, if the label says widmer brothers, pick it up. take it to a friend's house. impress your corona drinking neighbors with these fine oregonian ales. but if the label reads deadlift imperial ipa, back the truck up and grab a sixer of PBR. then record your beer-ific virtues in a ledger for future generations.

(ps. i listened to Flatt & Scruggs with Doc Watson - STRICTLY INSTRUMENTAL - during the typing of this here review. get on it!)

2 comments:

  1. Very informative, I have not graced my lips with any beverage produced by Widmer. Althought I am not opposed to, the opportunity has not arisen. I will be sure to double check the label if and when such a time comes... Although if it is free, I will probably still drink it... All things in perspective.

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  2. ...sometimes you drink so much that you swear that you will never drink again...even that is a lot more fun than swigging one measly sip of a disgrace to it's name imperial ipa.

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