Friday, March 13, 2009

It Is Finished.

I know that many of the readers of this drunken blog are devout IPA drinkers. I have been downing various versions of this brew (a dozen to be exact) over the past few weeks. My mission, to drink a bunch of IPA's, and judge them based on my own personal some of you may disagree, but I will share my thoughts. I am going to rate the beers on a scale of $0-$5. This will represent how much I would gladly ("gladly" is the key word, i want them all to cost $0.50, but real life...) pay for a pint of each of these hop waters at a drinking hole. I will also put them in order from last place to first place. Let's start with the major dissapointment:

12. BUTTE CREEK ORGANIC IPA: Basic hop flavor--subtle caramel malt--no stand out bite. Maybe an isolated incident, but this thing was way too sudsy! I poured most of it down the drain...which is rare. $0.50

11. ARCADIA IPA: Caramel and nut flavors are more prevalent than the hops--no citrus taste at all--$2.00

10. DOGFISH HEAD 60 MINUTE IPA: Forgettable, but definetly an IPA--good hop flavor, but a little turbulent on the tongue--not enough citrus flavor to smooth it out. It says it's been voted the best beer in America, but it's not even the best IPA in my fridge--$3.00

9. BELL'S 2 HEARTED ALE: Obvious hops--then malty and grainy--too grainy at the end--i need water (with lemon) to quench my thirst and add some citrus flavor that it is missing--$3.25

8. FT. COLLINS ROCKY MOUNTAIN IPA: Smooth--smells like caramel--hops are too subtle--like a brown ale trying to be as cool as an IPA--tasty beer, just not the IPA i am looking for--$3.50

7. LEFT HAND WARRIOR IPA: Caramel and hops mixed nicely--very little citrus flavor-smooth and easy to drink--$3.52

6. MENDOCINO IMPERIAL IPA (Winter Seasonal): A lot of hop bite!--just a little caramel flavor--mostly hops--strong, but smooth--you could even describe it as creamy--$4.00
5. SIERRA NEVADA TORPEDO IPA: Balanced--not too much of anything, but just enough of everything--hops, citrus, a little malt--give me! thanks baker $4.25

4. BRIDGEPORT IPA: Not much of a smell--what you can't smell is more than compensated for in the taste!--awesome flavor--perfect balance--smooth hops flavor with an aftertaste of citrus--much smoother than other IPA's and even some Pale Ales...just a tad watery--CLEAN--could down a 6er without a sip of water--thanks hamster! $4.50


3. O'FALLON 5 DAY IPA: Flowery aroma--very hoppy--great burn of flavor--minimal caramel flavor--citrus aftertaste--clean--thanks o'fallon--$4.75

2. ANDERSON VALLEY HOP OTTIN' IPA: great smell--hops and citrus--tiny bit of caramel malt flavor--the hops bite and my mouth likes it--i might need some h2o after a pint of Hop Ottin', but if it means I'm ready for a second pint, i'll do what is needed--great balance of hops and citrus--very similar to the best of the dozen--$4.99

1. BOULEVARD DOUBLE WIDE IPA: yep! hops to start, citrus at the end! lemon, maybe orange, and even some milder citrus--the burp halfway through was better than a whole bottle of Butte Creek--i don't want to drink or eat and ruin the aftertaste--$5.00

Some of these I had sampled before, but to have them in the mix of a bunch of other IPA's gave me a good scale to measure all of these by. I'll do this again with a bunch of other IPA's...anybody interested in joining me from the comfort of your home? even the hamster could join in a bit of distance learning. i'll plan it, if you'll drink it.


  1. I'm in.
    I liked your thoughts and found myself agreeing with you more than not especially as you got further down the list. of course, i was sad to see my precious two-hearted get the shaft, but nevermind.
    Be careful, as hamster warned me, about tasting them all together--especially ipa's. We did something similar, the hamster, seth and i, and guess what? We ALL voted the Schlafly APA the worst by far! What!?. yes.

    What i mean to say is that our buds can poke us the wrong direction after being beaten up by another ipa. This is why i feel like i need to give that damn bear republic puke in a bottle that is the hop rod rye another chance. i don't want to, but i must.

    with that said, thanks for taking on such a task alone.
    ps. i went out to granite city again today and they were completely out of Three Floyds! I was pissed.

  2. I think "the prescription" did it right by spreading the brews out over a few weeks.
    I respect the order. I was surprised to see Boulevard as #1 (Wow, way to go KC)and the Two Hearted getting the 9er. I'm glad O'fallon was at the top. So really what I'm gathering is the Midwest region kicks ass.

  3. once again i rushed through reading the post. i guess i am also surprised about the boulevard. i've had it twice on tap and both times felt like it was not spectacular. But, what do i know.

  4. I think the only variable that might have swayed my decisions was the situation, or my attitude at the moment of consumption. I had the Double Wide on tap right after school got out on a Friday...that may have boosted its appeal. The other brews were sampled in my house...but some were sampled while I was alone in the daylight, some in the wee hours in the midst of good conversation. So, maybe next time I will try to sample them all in a similar atmosphere...maybe after some yoga.

  5. this list reads like a controversial sex crime story to me: some got favored, some got screwed, and the one with a double dose of heart got poked and smoked. i am in shock, prescription.

    first of all, my joynesses in this list:
    - dogfish head at the back of train.
    - o'fallon in the top three. i love that crap.
    - the picture of the double wide IPA horizontally laid out LIKE a real double wide trailer. genius.

    second of which, my sadnesses with this list:
    - dude, you gave two hearted the shaft. i felt that one in the cardio-box.
    - you ranked lefthand and mendocino (MENDOCINO?) above bell's. Jesus said in the last days there would be an outpouring of signs and wonders, but i never could have fathomed this.
    - at one time, bridgeport IPA was among the top three IPAs on the general market. something has happened to the beer in recent years. it's not as good as it once was. not a potent and beautiful and "ooo, damn, i'll have another immediately following this one." still, i am glad that it made #4 on your list; i just remember a time when it could have easily been #3. sigh.

    your list has grabbed my attention. and my curiosities. this post makes me feel like i'm the dude at the party that all the girls hit on, and i'm kinda tired of it, but then i look across the room and see this other girl (your post) and she's all not hitting on me, in fact, she's giving me a bit of stink eye and so i feel crazy nuts just to get near her and unshroud her mysteries but not her shoulder because i just met her and i'm not a perv even though i'm at parties and i'm looking to score it would seem by the story i've concocted here and i didn't mean anything by using a word that had the "cock" sound in the middle of it while talking about men and women and oh bollocks.

    what i'm trying to say is that this post has made me all the more excited to drink beer with you in june on jesse's backporch. we will have much to taste and compare. bring a water bottle and i'll bring the saltless crackers. the taste test is on.

  6. are you hitting on me? i just want to be friends...y'know, beer drinkin buddies. let's have a taste test via blog. i will pick 3 ipa's that i have never tasted, you pick 3, and we will both drink six. then we will have a beer talk...maybe i will even make graphic organizers for each of the brews. i will do my best to choose beers you can get deep in the heart of Texas. have you ever had mendocino imperial ipa? not just the regular white hawk? but, as you see, the best mendocino county brew is hop ottin'...we can agree on that at least. two-hearted is too grainy for makes me thirsty and want to squeeze a lemon into the bottle. i'm picky, and i like it. have you ever tried the double wide? if not, and if you can't get it in texas, i will gladly bring a big bottle for us to share in june.

  7. yes, i'm hitting on you. didn't you know i am gay.

  8. no, you're confusing hamsters with gerbils. no worries. common mistake.

  9. Am I? hmmm...maybe that's what went wrong the other night