Saturday, March 14, 2009


my dear sam -

let's have a chat, you and i. let's talk about beer. specifically, let's talk about the beauty of beer, for there exists such a thing, and, you my friend, have tapped into it.

i live in the republic of texas. it never rains here. in 2008 the skies tinkled rain once for about 15 minutes, but that was all. still, because we are the republic and God's chosen people, our crops continue to flourish and our cattle remain as strong as the leather we wrap around our waists and boots and wife's torsos when they let us. life is good in the republic. and today, the skies have tinkled rain in a solid stream since yesterday. something good our way comes, yeah buddy.

and in here, sweet inside and dry and warm in a bodacious red cardigan, i sit and sensually observe something good: this new blackberry witbier you have made. sam, this is amazing. this is darling. this is prettier than the foot wide tail pipes on my cousin's dooley truck. i like this.

sam, i like how this beer is slightly hazy, like our glimpse into the heaven's according to paul. and i like how, in that haze, there are all these little bubbles ascending from the pint glass floor like prayers on the baptist bench altar.  and i like how the beer, when you drink it, makes snowflake patterns along the edge of the glass, like angel wings. i can keep on with the religious imagery if it's doing anything for you.

and i like the flavor: a little sweet with the wit and a little tart with the blackberry. i like that my mouth feels tempted to pucker from the heavy berry aroma alone, but i do not pucker because the berries are not that tart in the flavor. but the they almost are. so i pucker anyway, just for fun. for shits and giggles, as my friend jim yates would say.

this is a good beer, sam. probably not the best beer i've had, but good enough, today, to elicit a little melodrama. the rain helps with that, too. so, i officially give this blackberry witbier 3 pucker-sunches out of 5. you're on your way, sir. i'd be interested to see what you could make of a lager. especially, a lager straight outta the heart of boston.

sincerely, a true fan, even though i haven't bought anything by you in nearly a year,

- the hamster

ps. soon i will write back with my comparison of SAM ADAMS BLACK LAGER and NEW BELGUIM 1554. two beers so similar, and, yet, two beers so almost alike.


  1. Massachusetts was producing patriots (and probably pungent ales) well before Texas was even a twinkle in Davy Crockett's eye. Naming your brewery (Sam Adams) after the leader of the Sons of Liberty creates a severe bias among the American's almost begging to be consumed by any history lovin American. You know what would really interest me? Some Native American hop water! Did they even brew beer?

  2. They probably had to brew something while they being forced along the Trail of Tears...they could have called it "Manifest Destiny Kiss My Ass Ale."

  3. as in "there's a tear in my beer cause i'm migrating for you, dear."